what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
