i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
