I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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