I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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