there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize