Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
