I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just had sex on a roof
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
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