You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
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