I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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