Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize
