I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
