You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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