All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
