I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
