i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
