You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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