I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize