felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
