So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
