How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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