We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
