i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
