My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
sex in a hospital.. check
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
