I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
