Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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