5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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