Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
