It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We're too hungover to prance.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
