Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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