Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
