i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
