I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
