I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
