i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
