Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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