brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
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