i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
