My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
