He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize