i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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