Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
