She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
