Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
foreskin is a definite game changer
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
