doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
