We're like a lot better than the average bears
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
