and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
