2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
