I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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