The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
