omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
