totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
