Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
