Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Randomize
