Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
