Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize