if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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