Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
