So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
