Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
