Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize