yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
